sábado, 14 de noviembre de 2009

Qué profundo es su amor (final)

Todo marchaba a la perfección. El Cirujano esperaba su momento detrás de la corona que decía “Tus compañeras de la escuela San Carlos” El Enano se estaba aproximando al féretro. El color de su rostro pasaba de la lividez al rojo furioso y sus ojos tenían un brillo mortal. Parecía Linda Blair a punto de comenzar su show ante el cura joven del Exorcista. El Zurdo estaba en el cuarto de al lado, y no pudo reprimir su sonrisa ante la locura que explotaría en un instante, locura que él había imaginado y organizado. Pero recordó que en sus planes siempre hay un momento de zozobra, en que parece que se va a arruinar todo. Se preguntaba si aquí también ocurriría lo mismo.

- Hola Zurdo! No sabía que eras amigo de la familia. O sos pariente de la finada?

No tuvo que darse vuelta para saber que la voz que salía detrás de la cortina de humo de cigarrillo, de adentro del piloto y de debajo del sombrero era la del Detective, que le sonreía mientras bebía whisky oculto en una taza café. Sintió que un frío se apoderaba de sus piernas.

Por decir algo le soltó:

- estás trabajando?

-Vine a acompañar a Sandy. Era amiga de la Señora. A veces se tomaba un whisky en el VIP de su bar, discretamente, sin que su marido lo supiera.

No hubo más tiempo para la charla. Un ¡¡¡POBRECITAAAAAA!!! gritado como si fuera el día del Juicio Final, llevó la mirada de todos al cajón. El Enano estaba colgado de la muerta, dando patadas en el aire, en un evidente ataque de dolor ante la inexorabilidad del fin. Los guardaespaldas del viudo demoraron una eternidad en salir del estado de shock. No atinaron sino unos segundos más tarde en tratar de sacar al pequeño loco que lloraba y decía ¿¿¿POR QUÉ TE MORISTE??? ¿¿¿POR QUÉ TE MORISTE??? El viudo estaba horrorizado, porque además no conocía al desencajado que le hablaba a su esposa. Incluso sospechó si el pequeño no tendría algún vínculo “diferente” con ella. Cuando reaccionaron, dos de los grandotes tomaron el Enano de sus piernas y comenzaron a tirar de él.

- ¡¡¡NOOOOOO!!!

- ¡¡¡NOOOOOO!!!

Y allí vino el desastre. Aferrado a la mortaja, el tironazo se llevó puesta a la muerta y el féretro se cayó de las cuatro columnas que lo sostenían. La situación fue dantesca. Las ancianas que estaban cerca comenzaron a santiguarse. El viudo no lo soportó y se fue al cuarto de al lado. Todos los guardaespaldas estaban desenredando al Enano, que además daba fuertes puñetazos. En el tumulto y con el detective detrás, el Zurdo no vio al Cirujano. El plan fue tan bueno que ni él, que lo había trazado, tuvo tiempo de ver al ejecutor. Apenas alcanzó a ver una sombra saliendo por la puerta principal. Lo habría hecho?


La calma se había recuperado. Incluso le habían acercado un vaso de agua al Enano. Todo el mundo estaba impresionado con él, por la muestra de amor, cariño o lo que demonios fuera que tenía con la occisa.

- Veo que trajiste invitados. Al Enano lo conozco, y si no me equivoco, ese que salió con delicada prisa era el Cirujano. Verdad Zurdito?

- Si querés yo te doy…

- Olvidate! Ni siquiera quiero saber qué se llevaron. Yo soy Detective Privado, no policía. Y acá estoy acompañando a Sandy. Eso sí, lo que sea que te estás llevando, no lo liquides rápido. Porque si el viudo se da cuenta y me contrata para que lo recupere, me lo das en un minuto. Está claro?

- Por supuesto, Detective.

El velorio estaba llegando a su fin. Un tipo parecido a Vincent Price dijo lo de siempre:

- Por favor, familiares y amigos, ¿pueden tomar el féretro de las manijas?

Fuera de libreto y con pasos cortos, alguien se adueñó de la última de la izquierda. Los siete portadores estaban desparejos, y el cajón quedaba ligeramente ladeado.

- Una mirada espantada del viudo fue suficiente esta vez, y de inmediato dos gigantones despojaron al Enano de la manija de bronce.

- Por qué no puedo llevarla… ¿¿¿ POR QUÉ NO PUEDO LLEVARLA??? dijo el Enano mientras cruzaba un derechazo sobre el ojo del urso que estaba más cerca de él.

El Zurdo ya iba a ganar la calle, pero aún tenía dudas sobre la parte del Cirujano, si habría podido hacer su trabajo. Es que el Enano se había pasado, como siempre, y a lo mejor no pudo. El féretro era de esos que tienen un pequeño visor a la altura del rostro, y al Zurdo se le dio por darle una ojeada, buscando alguna clave. Extrañamente, la cara no tenía rigor mortis. Tenía como una pacífica semi sonrisa. No había dudas. El Cirujano había pasado por allí.


A Miralunas, que con muñeca perspicaz suele adivinar cosas.

59 comentarios:

miralunas dijo...

sabía yo que el Detective ni es yuta, ni se mete donde no lo llaman!!! me sigue gustando el quia

gracias , Cronista!

esa sandy es joyita, poca veces taxi, seguro. (asi que se lo presto).

besos, precioso! lindo regalo de no cumpleaños.

Cristina dijo...

Me encantan los no cumpleaños de Miralunas en el país de las Maravillas, y las fiestas que le dedica el Cronista con un Zurdo animador, detective, enano, y finada satisfecha.
Por muchos más para la agasajada y el agasajador
Besos
Cristina

Merche Pallarés dijo...

Bueno, pues parece que el enano, el cirujano y el zurdo se salieron con la suya PERO ahí está Robert Mitchum que si el viudo le contrata, el trio Los Panchos tendrá que devolver el tesoro tan bien guardado... Besotes, M.

Magah dijo...

Cronista su creatividad es tan fértil que tenga cuidado con el techo de su casa, hará saltar, tirantes y tejas y que sus ramas lleguen al cielo.

Salute.

PD: No conteste que vive en departamento, quiere?

Cecy dijo...

La historia, ME ENCANTO.
Pero estas compañeras, me hacen reir mucho, CRONISTA?

Je.

Besos.

Blackberry dijo...

Simplemente GENIAL, como siempre. Me encantan las aventuras del Zurdo y el Detective, son impredecibles y sorprendentes! :)

Besos Marcelo

SUSANA dijo...

Sus personajes literarios son tan… sensibles y se expresan en tantas formas distintas!
Muy simpáticos el Zurdo, el Enano! y muy diestro el Cirujano!
"Pacífica semi-sonrisa" Jajajajajá!

PD 1: El angelito de la foto luce “recoleto”. Si acaso es así, digamos, creo que está –tomando referencia una calle central- hacia el final del cementerio y a la izquierda. ¿me equivoco?.

PD 2: Vaya! The Anglo-American Cyclopaedia! Volveré por ese lateral suyo!

Merche Pallarés dijo...

¿De qué va el video que has añadido? No he entendido nada. Besotes de nuevo, M.

Isabel Estercita Lew dijo...

Che, Marce, espero que hagan buena guita con el anillo. Y ya que la golosa de Miralunitas se quiere comer al detective que no es yuta, te lo traes para la próxima con el zurdito, el cirujano y el enano y con las chicas nos hacemos una partuza
cuak

Estercita

SIL dijo...

Qué hijo de puta...
(El Cirujano, digo ehhhhhhh)

Una pacífica semi sonrisa...

Te amo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Qué declaración de amor tautológica!

Sos único.
Sos maravilloso.

Te mando un beso con una sonrisa semi pacífica, loco divino total.

Merche Pallarés dijo...

¿Por qué has quitado el video? Besotes, M.

Robërto Loigar dijo...

Me imagino los personajes, los veo vestido de prohombres y hasta escucho sus voces.

Muy bien Marcelo. Me fijaré bien por donde camino.

Saludos desde la otra acera...

Gatadeangora dijo...

Buen sitio para esconder un anillo.
Me muero por saber si hizo bien su trabajo el Cirujano, aunque por la media sonrisa de la difunta parece que si...granuja el Cirujano!!!.
Lo que no se, es de que va el loco del enano...

Besos

Anónimo dijo...

Si confiesas con tu boca que Jesucristo es tu Señor y crees en tu corazón que Dios le levantó de los muertos, serás salv@.

Romanos 10.

Anónimo dijo...

Si confiesas con tu boca ante la policía que has robado el anillo oculto, y hasta que has sido el homicida, serás salvo por un abogado que sepa plantear una simple nulidad.

Anónimo dijo...

Si confiesas con tu boca que has robado el anillo , y te escucha tu mujer, te exigirá que antes de reducirlo se lo dejes usar un día para florearlo entre sus amigas.

Anónimo dijo...

Si confiesas con tu boca que has robado el anillo y te oye la dueña de la pensión, te llevará a la calle Libertad y tras obligarte a venderlo retendrá los alquileres atrasados, más seis meses por adelantado.

Anónimo dijo...

¡¡¡NUNCA CONFIESES NADA!!!

Ana dijo...

Me gusta esa sonrisa de la finada porque haces que todo pase en la mente del lector, y esa "implicación" me resulta perfecta.

El detective me atrae. Es de esos tipos a los que nada se le escapa, y que vive y deja vivir.

Un gusto leerte, Marcelo.

Marta Noviembre dijo...

Me necantó! tremendos personajes... Un abrazo, Marcelo!

América dijo...

Marcelo que imaginación unida a tu talento no dejas de sorprender(aunque es lógico pensar que ya nada tuyo sorprende).
Las historias alrededor del zurdo y del detective siempre sacan de ti ese humor tan difícil de plasmar.

Gala dijo...

Está claro que fué todo un acierto elegir al Cirujano para esa parte del trabajo.
Lo que bien se planea, bien sale.

Muy bueno.

Besos

Lao dijo...

Muy buena trama y simbólico final con la sonrisa de la difunta!!

maracuyá dijo...

jajaja´...genial el Zurdo. Ya se extrañaba. Pero el anónimo no se queda atrás en creatividad.´

Nunca es tarde cuando la dicha es buena, le oyeron decir espantados a la muerta. Cosa e´mandinga.

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If you are a novice gambler you probably haven’t heard the term but professional bettors who earn their livelihood from sports betting use the method all the time taking advantage of the variance in odds from the opinions of the diverse number of bookmakers. Even though it sounds as if it is a no risk situation that may not always be the case and there some issues that can cause you to lose.

Finally, to insure that you do indeed have the best betting odds that you can get, it is crucial as a bettor to shop the money line and the odds. Any reputable sports book online would offer the best line for your wagers without coercion. However, once you have found the best deal, it is important to verify and scrutinize the odds based on the past performance of the particular teams involved you can make appropriate judgments that can be indicative of the weaknesses and strengths of the respective sporting teams. You should also do research on the sports players, injury lists, and the teams if possible.
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In July 2006 they finally got what they were hoping for when legislation was passed with a vote of 317 to 93. By passing legislation, it appears imminent that the Wire Act of 1961 is going to be updated to more closely coincide with the internet world of today. Basically, the Wire Act states that it is a felony to transmit bets via wire communications. The next step in the process is for the bill to go in front of the Senate. If they agree with the first round of voting it is safe to say that things are going to change drastically.

So, having established that using a good Selection System is an absolute must if you want to make money from sports betting, how does the average Bettor actually go about making his/her betting selections? My research shows me that, in the main (ignoring the extremes), there are generally two approaches taken:

- The more conservative group looks at the "Short Odds" calls, and plays safe by selecting only those matches where they themselves feel very confident about the outcome.

- The more adventurous group analyses the matches and odds on offer, and then makes selections based on their own gut feeling about how the matches will turn out, making sure that the odds match their concept of a "value" bet.

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